What Would You Rather?
by AnimationNut
Summary: A bored Marty instigates a game of Would You Rather? Of course, with our favourite New York Zoosters, the game can't help but bring forth ridiculous questions and embarrassing confessions.


**I do not own the Madagascar franchise.**

**What Would You Rather?**

The colourful circus train rolled down the metal tracks, its cars jolting with every bump and jerk. The moon's light filtered through the cracks in the train cars, offering a calming glow for those still awake. Marty was one of them, glancing at the silver light glimmering on the wooden floor. His gaze flickered around the train car, where his most of his friends were on the brink of sleep. The zebra leaned against a stack of crates with a bored sigh. He knew it was going to be one of those nights where he wouldn't be able to sleep. A long night promised to be ahead of him.

Unless he could manage to keep his friends awake to keep him company, of course.

"Skipper," Marty said suddenly as an idea struck him. "Would you rather eat apples for the rest of your life or live in Antarctica?"

The penguin glanced up from the game of cards he was playing with his boys. A mixed expression of amusement and suspicion crossed his face. "What kind of question is that?"

"He's probably thinking up ways to torture you if you turn rogue." Alex spoke up.

"I am not!" Marty protested before any of the penguins decided to take Alex seriously and harm him. "I'm bored and I thought this would be a neat game to play."

"And the point of this game is...?" Skipper prodded, slightly paranoid that the answer he gave would eventually come back to bite him in the rear.

"I just give two crazy choices and you pick one." Marty said. "It's fun and nothing to be suspicious about. So?"

Deciding that there would be no harm in answering his monochromatic friend's question, Skipper answered. "I hate apples. But I hate Antarctica more."

"It's a dreadful place," Private shuddered.

"Yeah, I'm not big on freeze-your-butt-off climates either," Marty agreed. "Alex, would you rather eat the side of the cake Mort spit on or rotten fish for two days?"

Alex gagged. "That's really gross, Marty."

"I'm not asking you to do it!"

The lion rolled his eyes. "Even having to just _pick _an option is gross. Alright, I guess I'd eat the side of the cake Mort spit on. I think it'd make me less sick."

"Maybe," Marty grinned. "Gloria! Would you rather be trapped in a train car for five hours with Julien or with Mort?"

Skipper whistled. "That's a tough call."

"Not really," Gloria said thoughtfully. "Mort's adorable, and being trapped with him for five hours wouldn't be so bad."

"I'd definitely pick Julien." Marty said. "He sure knows how to throw a party!"

Skipper rolled his eyes. "Typical hippie behaviour."

Marty ignored the penguin. "Okay Melman, your turn!"

"Oh goody," Melman said sarcastically.

"Would you rather be away from Gloria for a week or have lice for _two _weeks?"

"Uh..." Melman glanced at his girlfriend, who was eyeing him expectantly. "I'd rather have lice for two weeks."

"Biased answer," Kowalski coughed.

Marty muffled his snicker. Catching this, Gloria crossed her arms and asked, "Would you rather watch the Lunacorns for twenty-four hours or be hung on Dubois' wall?"

"What kind of question is that?" Marty demanded. "They're both equally horrible!"

"Oh, and asking me if I'd rather be away from my girlfriend or have lice wasn't horrible?" Melman asked.

"Definitely not."

Kowalski grinned slyly. "I know what Private would pick."

"What?" Alex asked curiously.

"I'd rather be hung on Dubois' wall," Private said hastily.

Rico slapped him in the fin. "Nu-uh!"

"I'll have no liars in my ranks, solider." Skipper said sternly as he tossed his cards aside. The game the hippie had started was a little more amusing.

Private turned red. "Oh, fine. I'd rather watch the Lunacorns."

"Really?" Marty asked in disbelief. "I'd rather be hung on Dubois' wall. I can't stand that show."

"Private loves it." Kowalski grinned and ducked to avoid a swing from the embarrassed private.

"It sends good messages to people!" Private defended.

"Don't get upset. We've accepted your weird love for girly, sugary-sweet cartoons." Skipper assured him.

"Don't feel bad, Private. We all like weird stuff. And I'm pretty sure Julien likes the Lunacorns too." Marty informed the young penguin.

"Having something in common with Ringtail is not something he should be proud of," Skipper muttered.

"Okay, okay. I got one." Alex spoke up. "Would you rather live in Madagascar or Africa for the rest of your life?"

"Africa," Melman answered. "They have surprisingly good health care."

"Africa," Marty agreed. "They had some crack-a-lackin' animals there!"

"Africa," Gloria nodded. "I felt a little too confined on Madagascar."

"Don't you mean outnumbered?" Skipper asked. "All those lemurs ready to attack once their lunatic leader gives the signal."

Gloria rolled her eyes. "Skipper, you think everyone is going to attack you."

"It's called being realistic, sister." Skipper retorted.

"Anyone else got one?" Marty asked, hoping to prevent a squabble between the hippo and penguin leader.

"I do!" Private waved his fin in the air. "Would you rather watch a movie without picture or without sound?"

"I'd have to say without a picture," Melman answered thoughtfully. "At least you can create the picture in your mind with whatever sounds you hear."

"Or you could make up the dialogue to the picture," Gloria added.

"That's way too much work." Marty remarked and grinned when Gloria took a swat at him.

"Alright, if we're asking silly, hypothetical questions, I got one for Rico." Skipper turned to the explosion-loving penguin. "Would you rather go through the rest of your life without blowing something up or lose the ability to regurgitate objects at will?"

Rico groaned. It was a difficult decision, but if he had to choose... "No kaboom."

"Interesting," Skipper mused.

"Do you have any good ones, Kowalski?" Marty asked.

"Preferably nothing too disgusting," Melman added.

The penguin hummed in thought. "Would you rather kiss Mason or Dubois?"

"That falls under the disgusting category." Melman said flatly.

"That's rather insulting," a familiar British voice chimed. The occupants of the train car glanced up to see Mason and Phil swing into their compartment.

"It's nothing against you," Melman assured the chimp. "And I don't think you'd want to kiss me either."

"You have a point." Mason smiled. "Although I must admit I'm worried as to why you're discussing someone choosing to either kiss me or Dubois."

"We're playing a game," Marty explained.

Phil signed something and Mason nodded in agreement. "Yes, I don't think I like this game either."

"It's all hypothetical." Marty assured him. "Someone gives you two choices and you pick the one you'd rather do."

"Ah. I see. In that case, I hope everyone would choose me over Dubois." Mason said.

"Definitely," Marty agreed.

"No question." Alex added.

"Do you mind if we join?" Mason asked. Phil jumped and down hopefully.

"Sure thing!" Marty said cheerfully. "The more we got the funnier this game gets!"

And so the game continued throughout the night, the questions getting wilder and more disturbing. It was the best all-nighter Marty had ever pulled.

**First Madagascar fic, yay! **

**There are some Penguins of Madagascar (which I do not own) references in here, so if you manage to find those, good job :P I thought it would be funny if the New Yorkers played a game of Would You Rather? Hopefully this story is somewhat humorous xD Review please, and no flames!**


End file.
